Spooked

It’s almost Halloween, guys. Is Halloween your jam? I find that people are either all about it, or completely meh about it. There doesn’t seem to be an in-between.

I was watching a British comedian the other day (I can’t remember who now), and they were lamenting that Halloween is a stupid ‘holiday’ in North America. And I have to say, objectively, it kind of is. I mean it is absurd when you think about it.

And it’s not that I don’t like it, per se, but I don’t really care about it. I haven’t worn a costume in years, and only then because it was part of a competition at work. I haven’t gone out (read: partied) for Halloween since my university days.

But you can’t deny that whether you’re a big fan, or a casual observer, or even an active hater, there is a certain…vibe about Halloween.

Now, I’m not necessarily spilling my guts here about my belief in ghosts and demons and spirits, (oh my!). But I’m not NOT saying that I don’t believe. Or believe. Are you confused yet?

Have you ever heard of that thing, that when you get a body shiver out of nowhere, (when you’re not cold), that it means that someone has just walked over your grave? I never really know if that refers to the grave of one of your past lives, or your future grave. Or, your grave in a parallel universe where you’re dead? I don’t know.

The way that ghosts and spirits are depicted in (non-scary/horror) films and TV, would have us believe that our loved ones who have passed away, come to us sometimes, hovering over or around us, guiding us from the grave in times of crisis. Or when you’re deciding between popcorn or cheese and crackers for dinner. Just me? Moving on.

I am a person who wholly believes in energy. I’ve talked about this before. I think, when it comes down to it, humans are really comprised of energy. And I also believe that some people are highly attuned to not only their own energy, but also to the energy around them.

I’ve seen a medium. Twice. I’ve probably just lost half of you. It was a cool experience, for sure. Some of the things she said made total sense, and spoke to things that, at the time, no one else knew, so that was weird but validating. But she also said some things that didn’t really make sense. Perhaps they make sense now, but I can’t remember, and I’ve long gotten rid of the cassette tape recordings (yes, I’m old) I had of the sessions.

I remember playing with a Ouija Board when I was young (do you ‘play’ with a Ouija Board?). It scared the shit out of me. I hated that thing. I’ve freaked myself out chanting ‘bloody Mary’ into mirrors, to the point that I had to call my mom to come pick me up from the sleepover because I ‘wasn’t feeling well.’

I used to feel strange, ominous vibes occasionally in my old apartment. Out of nowhere, seemingly not connected to anything I had been doing, watching or talking about, this terrible, dark wave would come over me. Sometimes when I would be trying to fall asleep, or at the moment I would get in the shower, or just robotically watching TV, I would get this sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. My whole body would go cold and my hands would get clammy as the sensation shot through my body like a bullet.

And then, it was gone. Nothing else would happen. No mysterious moving of objects, no fluttering of curtains, or flickering of lights. But maybe I was only expecting those things because that’s what the movies have told me to expect. Maybe a spirit really was passing through me at that moment.

Maybe it was a Sam Wheat/Oda Mae Brown situation, but it was just a failed attempt so there was no body possession or kicking of a can in the subway. Who knows?

Listen, there’s a vast and unknowable universe out there, and we humans are just a speck on its surface. So, do ghosts and demons and spirits (oh my!) exist? I don’t know.

There are some things which are inexplicable in this world. I’m sure there’s a scientific, physiological explanation for things I’ve experienced. Maybe I think people can read my mind, but it’s actually because they know me, I can’t lie worth a shit and I’m terrible at keeping my emotions hidden that they can discern things about me. I think that expression ‘I wear my heart on my sleeve’ was created in reference to me.

Guys, I don’t have all the answers, I don’t even know all the questions, but I do know that if ghosts exist, I really would prefer that they stay out of my home. The only guests I want in my home are those who have been invited.

So, with All Hallows’ Eve just around the corner, how are you feeling about the ghosts and demons and spirits (oh my!) that you might encounter? Are you unconvinced? Are you nervous, frightened even? Are you afraid of the dark?

Or, is Halloween, and our celebration of it, an excuse to shed your identity on one sanctioned day by dressing up as someone/something else? It also lets you feel justified in having 95% of your food intake that day be candy.